The Greasy Gulch Fallacy

Guest article by Eddie Utmost. You can message him on Matrix.


The term "Slippery Slope" is exactly way too clean and delicate to the ears when referring to acts and ideologies of degeneracy and sodomy. I feel that the term is used far too lackadaisically when discussing such matters and this is potentially, in part, why so many people would rather ignore confronting these situations, or simply hand wave the entire warning as if to say “boys will be boys.” (And, given what we're discussing here, it's transparent that this isn't always the case...)

I propose a term, anew. There are so many sensational synonyms and substitutes for that set of seductive, scripted symbolism. However, one must not just pick two words of similar meaning and be done with it. The new term needs to be emblematic of the sadistic and servile nature to which the matter at hand pertains. An “Icy Incline” feels too festive (or too north). “Oily Obliquity” sounds too much like it is in support of such horrors. I squeezed my brain into a metaphor milkshake, picking out all the pulp, chunks, and gunk until I was left with the perfect replacement.

GREASY GULCH!

Exploding knees, wrong side of a precipice, head on a pike, all ass, no brakes.

What an á propos replacement it is, wouldn't you agree? I feel that the term “Greasy Gulch” is the utmost descriptor, perhaps most notably when cautioning against the predations of a morally corrupt 21st century specimen. The word “greasy” perfectly epitomises the disgusting and tumultuous deeds that these profligates subject unto the rational person. And what of the word “gulch”? I tell you, I can think of no better indicator that informs and alerts the type of people that would rather look away from the writing on the wall than the word “gulch”. I may be a little too much of a purveyor of alliteration, but please understand, I say without jest that “Slippery Slope” simply does not cut it. People on the morally and piously proper side of the argument seem earnest when warning against the horrific acts inferred throughout this dissertation. However, the common man in modern times is in fact too burdened by complacency. They tend to hold the position of “It'll all work out in the end”, which, in and of itself, is not a terrible sentiment. After all, hope and faith are both very godly qualities.

I have to admit that I, myself, have adopted apathy towards such affairs in the not-so-distant past. But the only way I can truly reform and repent from said lethargy is to try my best to warn others of that stance's reality. This wagon has no breaks. We are too far gone to finagle some method of impeding this sinful course. In fact, there aren't even any seats. It's nothing but our collective keister dragging on the asphalt. I would even go as far as to assert that we are already on the wrong side of a precipice. The only decision left to be made is a binary one. While you plummet towards a world of depravity and vile abominations, you can choose either to deploy your parachute or accept the certainty that your knees are about to explode.

AND EVEN THEN if you choose to let this derangement run its course, you will eventually hit the ground. And after the lower half of your body has been reduced to a viscous red paste. The very people for whom you sacrificed your body and life will hold nothing but contempt for you. They will condemn you, they will be disgusted by you, and they will wash their hands of your existence. Because it isn't just enough to be an ally, or to try to “educate” others on their “lived experiences.” You have to live, breathe, seethe, bleed, and shit their doctrine. Otherwise, you're no better than the “bigots” that they are so emphatically against. Even if you acquiesce to your new mangled body, it won't be long before these people feel that you have slipped up (by any measure, including something as simple as mispronouncing a word). You will find your mouth agape, perforated at the neck with your head resting on a pike. With all of the blood, sweat, and drool running down your lips, it surely will look like a greasy gulch :)

Written Apr 25, 2022